It's been a milestone week in our household... Matilda turned ten! And whilst we had the challenge of making yet another lockdown birthday feel special, it really made me take a step back and admire my beautiful, perhaps not-so-little girl; my "tween." Why share this you might be thinking? Well, she's resilient. She's positive. She's full of wonder and she's in charge of her self. She's undeniably confident. And confidence, I believe, is your key to unlocking happiness and success in this world.
And it saddens me to know that there is a confidence shortage. It's becoming more and more of a problem for women of all ages and life stages. And it's not something that comes naturally for many, nor easily.
So I want to inspire you today to reflect on your own self-confidence and fill you up with my top tips for boosting your confidence. Because confidence really is the most beautiful thing you can wear day in day out [thank you Blake Lively for that, I love it!]. And it really is the answer to living a fulfilling, empowered and happy life!
But first, do you really know what confidence is? Simply put, it's your attitude about yourself. It's how you feel about being you. Believing that you are capable. Believing that you can achieve. Believing that you can conquer or at least manage your fears. And it's a huge life enabler. Liberating and empowering you to take opportunities that come your way. And giving you the strength to overcome any obstacles. It's the comfort in knowing that you are your own unique, amazing self.
Cummings tells it gorgeously because "Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit".
So let's get to it ...
1. Know Your Demons
Ok, this may sound daunting but believe me it's important. And it's somewhat an easier place to start than point 2. Your fears will be holding you back until you learn how to manage them [or better still, get rid of them]. They're the things that creep up on you and can stop you in your tracks. Write a couple down for now and plan how you're going to tackle them this month.
It might be a case of finding out more about something that worries you. Or actually being bold and facing it head on. But be realistic about what's within your control. Sometimes simply acknowledging a fear and talking about it with a trusted friend will help. At the very least, be aware and be prepared to stomp on them or put them to one side when they rear.
2. Be Proud Of You
Spend some time reflecting on yourself. Make sure you know who you are [that's a biggie!]. But really, do you recognise what you're good at? Do you value what you have achieved so far or do you look for confirmation from others? This is about you appreciating and being proud of YOU. Because remember, confidence is about self-belief and you need to believe in your own greatness. I said it was a biggie!
A good start is to write down three things you feel you're good at. Try and be as specific as you can. Keep this list close to you. You may need to remind yourself when you have a wobble. Then, write down one or two things you're really proud of about you. Something you have achieved which you didn't think you could. Something you've done which made you feel good about you.
And note, these do not need to be monumental to the big wide world! I'll come onto that in the next point...
3. Don't Compare Yourself
Wouldn't the world be boring if we were all the same? A lack of self-confidence stems from a gap in where you see yourself and where you think you 'should' be. Always looking outwardly at others will only bring you down.
Accept yourself. You are unique for a reason. If you don't like something, you have the power to change it. If you want to be better at something, then learn! If you really want something in your life, then plan how you're going to get it. But do it for you, for the right reasons and make it your win.
4. Know That You Are Enough
Perfectionists will struggle with this one! But really, no one and nothing is perfect. Things should be 'enough'. You can't be everything to everyone; it'll exhaust you to even try. You don't need to be good at everything either; be selective and channel your energy towards things that truly fulfil YOU.
Knowing and accepting that you are enough will have a deep effect on your subconscious. Tell yourself every day... you are enough, you've done enough, and, if you have, enough is enough. You are in control.
5. Take Care Of You
Looking after yourself is one of the best routes to feeling more positive about you. And self-care is solely in your hands. Of course, taking care of your skin undoubtedly helps to make you feel better about you. Especially when you start reaping the benefits of a good regime. But taking care of you goes much further.
Note down three things which make you feel good and do them! If you need some time out, take it. Make regular exercise one of your must-haves. Even if it's as simple as a daily walk in the fresh air. Go for a run, do some yoga, or put on some music and have a dance! Whatever it takes to get your happy hormone flowing!
Think about what you eat too and make sure you enjoy a balanced diet. By 'balanced' I mean eat your five a day but also DO enjoy that wedge of cake with a friend too! It's good for the soul.
6. Act Positively
Sounds simple right? But this is more than just 'thinking' positively. Put your positive thoughts into action. Because 'doing' is more powerful than just 'thinking'; thinking is the beginning. You are what you do and so if you change what you do, you change who you are.
Acting positively day in day out is actually quite hard! Don't take this for becoming a "yes" person though. But talk to people in a positive way, be kind, show gratitude, even when it's tough. If you get the urge to groan, turn it around into a positive and uplift the situation. It'll do wonders for your own self-image and in turn boost your self-confidence through your self-control.
Sure, you'll get knocks, who doesn't? But your power of self-belief and confidence will pick you right back up again.
So ladies, let's be amazingly imperfect. Let's be empowered. Let's be confident! For beauty inside and out.
Love Tracey xxxx
Dee Lowe on May 06 2021 at 10:48PM
I needed this! After finishing an unsatisfactory relationship I am feeling insecure and lacking in my usual confidence. Your words have given me a constructive way of looking at myself and I’ll read and do what you suggest. Thank you.
Krystyna Jarmolkiewicz on May 06 2021 at 01:23PM
For me my confidence came with my age(60+),if I had this when I was a teenager Iam sure life would have been better then.
Darrelyn Gunzburg on May 06 2021 at 01:22PM
Thank you for your lovely words, Tracey. Women helping women to feel good about themselves. We can never have enough of ’em, so thank you for adding your oar to the waters. And I love your products. They have helped my skin to find itself again.
Susan Snodin on May 06 2021 at 01:22PM
Absolutely Amazing words we all struggle with something in our life’s, I do a lot for charity so maybe I could relay these words out to help others who are struggling thank you
Carey White on May 06 2021 at 09:50AM
Lovely words to read this morning Tracey…just what I needed..ready for the day ahead now! 😊😊
Liz Felstead on May 06 2021 at 08:43AM
Thank you Tracey, all sounds easy, I just have to take the time to live it. Believe in me. Great read for a Thursday morning. x
Tamara on May 06 2021 at 08:43AM
Love reading your blog . Very inspirational abs I will forward this to my 14 year old daughter to inspire her .
Dawn Hawker on May 06 2021 at 08:43AM
Gosh, just what I needed to read, I found out my husband of 23 years has been having an affair for the last 6 months. I feel either very upset or I feel nothing. I don’t know how to think just about myself and I don’t know what I enjoy. I will read this email over and over again, so thank you.
I love my products by the way, I’m 50 (young 50) not just saying it but I have tried some top end stuff in my years and yours is the best I have ever come across. Thank you.
Ruth A Gale on May 06 2021 at 08:43AM
Thank you for this. It truly resonated with me. Like many people I am struggling with many changes which have happened in the last year and feel lost and anxious. You are so right, amazingly imperfect! Perhaps I am enough! 😃💕