Choose a house.
Choose an outfit.
Argue with your spouse.
Go for that promotion.
Give that promotion.
Live a life of fulfilment.
Fall into a pit of despair.
What’s the difference; what drives your choices, your decisions, your actions?
Whether you’re married, single, divorced, widowed, old or young you already know your emotions are the most powerful forces inside us. Under the power of emotions, you can perform the most heroic (as well as outrageous) acts.
But which emotions cause people to act?
Imagine if you not only knew what they were but you could control them. Well, there are four basic emotions and take each or a combination of you can trigger the most incredible activity - the most incredible change. In fact, the day that you allow these emotions to fuel your desire can be the day you'll turn your life around.
You wouldn’t naturally associate the word "disgust" with positive action. And yet properly channeled, disgust can change your life. It did for Henry; my fiancee.
At 39 he was struggling to sleep, suffering from sleep apnea, feeling exhausted all day every day and would fall asleep almost the moment he sat down. A far cry from the fit man of his younger years!!
Then one day walking the children to school he saw his reflection in a car window, he was so tired he was cross and his reflection filled him with disgust. “He'd had it!"
"I don't want to live like this anymore. I've had it with being tired. I've had it with being embarrassed, and I've had it with feeling like a loser” he said.
Yes, productive feelings of disgust come when a person says, "Enough is enough."
And it was. Nearly four years later he’s shed over 3 stone, ran the London Marathon with me last year and is getting ready for the Purbeck Marathon this September. But most importantly he has the energy he had years ago and feels better about himself :-).
Call it what you will, the "I've had it" day, the "never again" day, the "enough's enough" day. Whatever you call it, it's powerful! There is nothing so life-changing as gut-wrenching disgust!
I find it hard to make important decisions - most people do. Making life-changing decisions is like a little war in my head!
Conflicting armies of emotions, each with its own arsenal of reasons, battle each other for supremacy of our minds. And our resulting decisions, whether bold or timid, well thought out or impulsive, can either set the course of action or blind it. I don't have much advice to give you about decision-making except this:
Whatever you do, don't camp at the fork in the road. Decide. It's far better to make a wrong decision than to not make one at all.
How do you get it?
How do you get that burning desire to do something to make something happen? I’m not sure I have the perfect answer but I do know two things about desire:
a. It comes from the inside not the outside.
b. It can be triggered by outside forces.
Almost anything can trigger desire. It's a matter of timing as much as preparation. It might be a song that tugs at the heart. It might be seeing someone living the life you want. It might be a movie, a conversation with a friend, a confrontation with the enemy, or a bitter experience. Even a book or an article such as this one can trigger the inner mechanism that will make some people say, "I want it now!"
So when searching for your "hot button" of pure, raw desire, welcome each positive experience. Don't erect a wall to protect you from experiencing life. The same wall that keeps out your disappointment also keeps out the sunlight of enriching experiences. So let life touch you. The next touch could be the one that turns your life around.
Resolve says, "I will."
Benjamin Disraeli, the great British statesman, once said, "Nothing can resist a human will that will stake even its existence on the extent of its purpose." In other words, when someone resolves to "do or die," nothing can stop him.
The mountain climber says, "I will climb the mountain. They've told me it's too high, it's too far, it's too steep, it's too rocky, it's too difficult. But it's my mountain. I will climb it. You'll soon see me waving from the top or you'll never see me, because unless I reach the peak, I'm not coming back." Who can argue with such resolve?
It’s like Time, Fate and Circumstance gather together around a table and say, “Alright … Enough … We might as well let her have her dream. She's said she's going to get there or die trying anyway!”
Think about it!
How long should a baby try to learn how to walk?
How long would you give the average baby before you say, "That's it, you've had your chance"? You say that's crazy? Of course it is. Any mother would say, "My baby is going to keep trying until he learns how to walk!" No wonder everyone walks.
There is a vital lesson in this.
Ask yourself, "How long am I going to work to make my dreams come true; to build the life I want; to win the battles I need to win?”
I suggest you answer, "As long as it takes."
That’s my answer and I’m very, very, VERY grateful you’re here with me on this wonderful journey :-).
Talk soon, Tracey xx